Hey, I'm Sick. Let's Do Something Weird.

There are a lot of home remedies that I use or run into as a physician. We hear about many of them every day and never think twice. To be honest with you, many patients find that they work fairly well. When you really think about it though, some of them are just downright weird. Here's a little sampling:

1. Salt water gargles-Whose mom made them gargle salt water when you had a sore throat? Mine surely did. The logic is rock solid. Hey, my throat really hurts. Lets put some salt water back there. Not like that's really caustic, right?

2. Cabbage leaves for mastitis-I have absolutely no idea how this one originated. You have to wonder about the breast milk after using this remedy. Does it change the taste of it for the infant? Does the child forever associate cabbage with infections and therefore never like vegetables? Questions, my friends, questions...

3. The Neti Pot-The time honored tradition of nasal irrigation (never thought you'd hear time honored and nasal irrigation together, did you?). This one is less weird to me. Squirting water up your nose loosen up the mucus has been happening for centuries and makes sense. Someone just decided to get cute and turn the instrument of mucous maceration into an antique. Here's a rather creative clip for further appreciation (note that I do not recommend all that he does):

4.  Chicken Soup-The most classic of all. I know that everyone has partaken of the poultry laden porridge when feeling a little stuffy. The question remains just as with the others. Why would someone think that putting chicken in hot water would make you feel better? Now, most chicken has steroids in it. So maybe if you get enough chicken, and thereby enough steroids, you feel better. Tell PETA to put that in their pipe and smoke it.

I may be making fun of these remedies, but I must be honest and tell that I have seen all of them work for people. Just because it sounds strange doesn't mean it's wrong. Just remember to do your research well when someone gives you an idea about a home remedy to try. You don't want to end up pouring coffee through your nasal passages like the Neti Pot guy...

What is Life About?

Ever sat at your desk at work or lay in bed at night wondering what you're doing? I don't mean literally of course. I'm talking about the grand scheme. What am I doing with my life? Will all of this effort I put forth every day matter? Some of the answers you arrive at during these sessions can be pretty disquieting. No one likes to think that their life will one day be forgotten, obsolete, or both.

I've had a lot of these moments at work. Part of being a medical resident is taking call, meaning I spend the night in the hospital taking care of patients. Any of my colleagues that know me, know that I hate night float (rotation where you work nights for the entire month). It isn't the sleep deprivation or being nocturnal for an entire month, though I don't really like that part much. It's the 3AM calls about dying patients that leave me standing outside a room by myself watching something unfold that I know I can't stop. I put on a good face for all, but there have been way too many times when I go back to my call room and stare at the ceiling. What am I doing here? Is this worth it?

Though I may still have my bad moments, I am fortunate blessed to have an answer to the purpose of life deal. I didn't come up with it, and it isn't anything original. It has nothing to do with me or any of my own talents (thank goodness). To quote Mark Driscoll, I'm just "a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody." Jesus said in Luke 19:10, "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost." Don't know about you, but lost is exactly what I am without Him. That's my deal. That's what I'm about. I've stared at the ceiling wondering how much my personal efforts will matter when it's all said and done. The answer without Jesus wasn't very pretty.

Baby Crack

My son is a fairly easy-going little guy. He is OK being held by anyone and can entertain himself for hours flat on his back doing nothing. There is only one particular situation where you can see the crazy side of him...feeding time. The sweet little boy turns into a raging maniac that will spit his pacifier at you and scream in loud, short bursts (think Jekyll and Hyde). All of this will only be solved by the taste of formula on his tongue, and he transforms back into his relaxed self.

Needless to say, I recognized that desperate look in my son's eye from my clinical experience. Addiction will give a certain desperate look to a person that normally triggers my instinct to ask more questions and offer my help. You can imagine my reaction when I saw that look in my infant son.

This has led Mrs. HumorMD and myself to officially dub formula as "baby crack." It really does function as a cure all. Need to buy a few minutes of quiet while you get dressed? Break out the baby crack. Need to shoot a few baby photos without threat of a full scale infant mutiny? Pass the baby crack. I usually do not support feeding addiction or promoting obesity. In this case however, if you can't beat 'em, feed 'em.

Patients Diagnose Themselves

Believe it or not, patients will usually just flat out tell you what is wrong with them if you give them enough time. I've had several tell rambling stories until they finally just break down and blurt out something like,"I've got an ulcer!" Problem solved. We can move on now. Others are not quite so obvious. However, twenty minutes of a patient describing their problem in depth will get you much farther than twenty minutes of a doctor peppering a patient with random yes/no questions. Treat the patient like an artist painting you a picture. No need to make your own sketch when Picasso is working on Mona Lisa right in front of you.

The Deadly Infant GI Tract

HumorMD Jr. has continued to educate me for the past few days. You always think you will teach your kids a ton, but so far it has been totally reversed. As a physician, I take pride in the fact that I can stomach most anything. Have pus coming from all orifices of your body and your abdomen is blown open? No problem. As a matter of fact, I think it's time for lunch. HumorMD Jr. does his daily diaper blowout? The civil alert sirens go off. It is like nothing I have ever seen. My respect for pediatricians has exponentially increased. As an internist, I used to think of the peds crowd as a weaker breed. If you can deal with what I just saw coming from that baby bottom, then you are a real man as far as I'm concerned.

Since HumorMD Jr.'s gastrocolic reflex is that of a grown man, we will continue our introduction to grown man sports today. We are watching College Gameday together as we speak. Hope the rest of you enjoy your Saturday!