Baby Daddy

I'm going to be a father soon. This has given me a first hand look at the crazy way people react when they see a pregnant woman. The reactions range from shrieking in a voice that blows out your eardrum to recoiling as if my wife was growing a den of venomous snakes. There really is no in between. Some people can't stay away and others are gone before you get the sentence out. I will admit that it was strange the first time I felt my baby move in my wife's belly. I like to play a baby version of Whack-a-Mole where I find body parts sticking out and poke them until they are moved elsewhere (I'm not violent I promise). I don't really like to be poked and prodded myself, so I can't say I blame the kid when he occasionally gives a little shot back. My wife isn't a fan of this, as you can imagine. Already have big plans for him though. Any infant that can punch his dad through a uterus should have major athletic potential. At least that's what I'm going with.